Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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