I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
