I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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