What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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