Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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