he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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