Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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