:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
