pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
