my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
