I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
