I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize