please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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