I don't remember. Are we still dating?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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