Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
