That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
