my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
