just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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