he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
pop tarts are not kleenex
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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