what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
