Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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