Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
