I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
