Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
