Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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