You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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