If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
