Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
