Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
