3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize