You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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