I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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