Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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