Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
