Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
