O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
