She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
