Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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