September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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