so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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