Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
