my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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