okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
