Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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