I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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