Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
