Pants 0. Shit 1.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
