after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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