Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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