69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
