I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
