They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize