I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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