Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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