Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
