giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
