He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
