I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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