i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize