i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
