My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
