she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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