there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
