I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think people are normalizing furries
I have post one night stand depression
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