he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
