he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
